I like to think of myself as someone else
so far away, the distance is the only thing I've ever felt
Even when I'm close to people
separated by posters and quotes, I feel so alone
never equal, my peers are people I fear
never know what's real
hallucinate and hear things I know I'll never see right here
but a tear brings only more
think about the consequences of every open broken door
and consequently my defenses end at the window I never meant to be
meant to see so much more, but it seems our lives end in entropy
I relish the beauty of the chaos I wish you were meant for me
But I will stay off the lawn as long as you will be
my off-and-on partner in semi-criminal activities
make the most of our time here
before we have to live in deep
cities and townships, all the places I'd never want to live
so around this I draw a circle
within it a face, colored purple and grey
a grimace, but not the character
in a way I never cared for her
All I say is I'm scared
with a few pure teeth left to save
no one spared their first
As I ruminate on these thoughts
as I run away from all the things I wish I would've forgot

this is who i am one word at a time, one line
this is who I am one line at a time
one word, one line
at a time

Fighting the highs and lows
of sugar and blood pressure
one good day for every thousand or so that never lets 'ya
down and the sounds that make you better
get the tiny compliments where you hide behind your other self
the kinda men that bide their time well
and find the fence undisturbed
like the occupants
never walked across this earth
I talk again, running over the same words
with my famous pen
the one I carry where it hurts
research outside my comfort zone
but record in the bedroom
because comfort's home
I live to be dead too
just like everyone else
but that's not the goal they put
on their trophy shelf
or the objective in the resume
never want to tell
your future employers
you're looking forward to a vacation in hell

not that I believe in those statements
but they're mine and I might as well make them
everything I say is fair game for rephrasing or paraphrasing
afraid to ever say my name and i shrivel like a raisin
in the sun when I'm in front of a crowd I've never met before
think they're all talking about my flaws and what better they've seen before

this is who i am one word at a time, one line
this is who I am one line at a time
this is who i am one word at a time
give it time, fresh out
give it time, right?

just let it go