The Beautiful Unknown

by Plainspoke

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1.
All I Need 03:03
All I need is a couple dozen therapists don't even care if its put me in the chair strap me to the air schizophrenic grandmother psychotic father wear my coat of arms when I go out as a martyr The market's filled with people I can't talk to lest I read them I don't want to repeat this off-and-on truth I feed them all the wrong foods and beat them senseless leave their boots cemented bodies in the trenches no trunk or car to get away I hid away, in my head Identify by a different piece of 'pape I break my legs on played mistakes and take a break to hope its dead but never knows my name I never said what was sent forever lasts is ever in finite the impotent state of the state makes me take all the time and put it away in the base-meent afraid of free, I take all the chances every opportunity to land from the building standing death is nothing new to me I live and feel banished All I need is a regiment of medicine I know you never said I'd ever be much more than dead to friends but damn, I'll see just how far I can get on ten cents of liquid pitch a tent in difference tell them I will be the bitch the guinea pig and swallow shit I slip into the hollow pit the hole within the fault of bliss and follow swift like all the fish I call bullshit and fall on in but no one gets the stick and so I'm all that's been lifted like a sticker on the lid of some old tin I fill a niche I feel the itch build and break like waves that you forget ice flows that kill a ship I s'pose I'm ill but no one's pissed the bolsheviks show me not as this but homies hold me nodding all the businesses are flawed as whispers in the wind are lost like all the solvents problems I'm never close to solving all the things that I'm involved in often falling off the ball and all-in, I'm calling this the hardest office ever offered dolly parton pardon me as I spew garbage on the lawn that's
2.
Sunrise 02:51
I'm dreaming that my teeth are chipping once again the feeling's different want a faker smile but my feet are slipping crocodile's listen all the while this was just a prison chipper shit's too much a bitch and all the vicious circles liquify like the lipids I exist on a different plane of quiet bliss the blisters pain me, paint me as lies and lips I know I'm changing but I try to hide it never too drastic We are always divided I'm always stuck in the middle just a rough image of an island I watch the sunrise as it rises watch the sunrise as it rises rises rises rises rises I watch the sunrise as it rises rises rises rises rises I watch the sunrise as it rises watch the sunrise as it rises I'm living a life that's all the rage but it's like, living in a cage with the key but no light to see the lock and stopping before you beat the block against your head beat the clock by taking out the batteries it's sad to leave what's never been we believe that this life will never end because there's always more time for reaching around that next bend but it's below waist that the all the water sits gaining weight as we hold out for the apocalypse And so I lift my eyelids when the sun picks my team to fight the night shift, I ride with the chariot cherry-picked by I don't care that it's a scary flick I flare the bits of ash toward their faces, kicking ass and making names for ourselves, but the flakes hit the bigger picture, making waves in the type of blog-based scripture, like nothing you could wish for this never goes right I watch the sunrise as it rises watch the sunrise as it rises rises rises rises rises I watch the sunrise as it rises rises rises rises rises
3.
Daylight 03:41
Break face to save it later As all the pages fade and little strings of fate pull us together as platonic mates in musical endeavors and dates exchange numbers and wait for the day to begin and the night to finish fight till the end within the lies of limits small beasts with big shadows find their way into our hearts with forgiveness when we speak our breath is shallow fall asleep because every man is a sinner at the cynical center of his galaxy then his universe as his salary increases not only does his belt gain girth but the week gives into weakness feelings that trump facts opinionated soundtracks to bounce back what's been pronounced bad and douse the flames in clouds of ash to obscure the present moment from the past and when the clouds open, the moment has passed but all the crowd's going every-which-way they can but home and so we stand alone in the back daylight keeps us alive -- like daylight light light keeps us alive (x4) -- like daylight daylight keeps us alive -- like daylight light light keeps us alive (x2) like daylight nothing's ever what it's cracked up to be better to live in fantasy than give up living half you see but fallacies are maladies flawed logic is my only problem I'll have written all the volumes with the sickness different in all the columns nothing but the dollar signs and different colored collars but none of them count as mine It's all in the rigged up followers chump change to make up time And run in place when I'm walking to speed up the distance too busy with the distinct talking taking from the rich to give to the poor of vigor and happiness, not riches that make you shit crooked, give a shit no more the sappy bliss of a big name in a bigger book, and little bubble world too small to overlook the tiny things that get you caught beneath the rubble where no one would ever think to look or go through the trouble I know this good, better than the back of my hand my only hope is that you can understand this that you can understand this man -- I don't even care about the questions lessons learned best left unsaid better to meddle than mess with the head better to give it than get, or get it than give not sure which, depends on whose got the growing dick and goes with it, so slow to finish tell a story, talk about the problems and headless horsemen through allegory and morse code every morning an sos sent out to the nearest friend willing to help but everyone's too busy moping about their own hell I wrote about the tone of the bell, the road I felt reverberating through the heart and mind no concern of mine to start the mating dance until a disconcerted lady friend of mine finds a branch I climb the branch follow the vines to the end of the sky and the top of the tree to see what I've been missing just beyond the rise of the distance nothing to see but prisons and prisms of existence --
4.
I watch the minutes pass haze across the limits last I heard it was a piece of cake but no one ever came back from that sleeping state I never finished my search for real estate beyond the distance of what's barely safe Live out my days as an introvert catch my breath on the sidewalk, in between steps Just to trip on words and digest all the noise to keep up the levels I guess I guess I fill the void in my chest with the voice in my head Climb the tallest hedge to bet my last dollar against the thread of fate that connects me to every-which-way I never came If I've ever laid my hands on a body in shame I'm sorry, but that's the way that I was raised Everything is replaced by bigger wastes of space or so they say, as I state my name Looking through the thinnest glass I see out Into me I don't look half bad in the cold shoveling my way to a bad back, I suppose Uphold my rules, my way of life, my ideals anything that feels right my friendships are like abandoned houses in that they're beautiful untouched nothing about them changes no matter how much is undone plain jane with her diamond ring and the chipper one always bringing down the whole team I'm an insignificant part of their lives but I try to make sure that this part is the best of their time and i do anything to keep them around but I know we're drifting and that's just fine for now soon it'll all go away and I won't know what to do not sure if everything will be okay but I know they're out there somewhere, living their lives and I hope to be doing the same even if I'm in a different place and time nothing ever really changes as long as you know they're somewhere out there for you even if you forget where they go Looking through the thinnest glass I see out Into me
5.
6.
look at the skyline fade into the clouds like faces that aren't mine facing the crowd I walk in a straight line down a street I've never been hoping for the best but getting no less than deficits of interaction medicated, pre-meditated talks and action I wave but no one sees me passerby pass me by as I begin bleeding but I'm bad at falling didn't learn from the previous proceedings ashes in the urn are calling my name but it's a cardboard box because we treat the dead like rocks and treat the living just the same I pay for the pain with my introversion can't keep up the levels of dopamine and I'm back for the burning turning my back to the furnace wishing it would pull me in but back to the burdens I met on a whim through people I met at a flimsy excuse for gathering disjointed parts and techno-babbling I pour my heart but it's vaporized into the food that no one takes for mine thrown away in paper rinds don't remember my name but I'm the only one that isn't making lies
7.
One Word 03:37
I like to think of myself as someone else so far away, the distance is the only thing I've ever felt Even when I'm close to people separated by posters and quotes, I feel so alone never equal, my peers are people I fear never know what's real hallucinate and hear things I know I'll never see right here but a tear brings only more think about the consequences of every open broken door and consequently my defenses end at the window I never meant to be meant to see so much more, but it seems our lives end in entropy I relish the beauty of the chaos I wish you were meant for me But I will stay off the lawn as long as you will be my off-and-on partner in semi-criminal activities make the most of our time here before we have to live in deep cities and townships, all the places I'd never want to live so around this I draw a circle within it a face, colored purple and grey a grimace, but not the character in a way I never cared for her All I say is I'm scared with a few pure teeth left to save no one spared their first As I ruminate on these thoughts as I run away from all the things I wish I would've forgot this is who i am one word at a time, one line this is who I am one line at a time one word, one line at a time Fighting the highs and lows of sugar and blood pressure one good day for every thousand or so that never lets 'ya down and the sounds that make you better get the tiny compliments where you hide behind your other self the kinda men that bide their time well and find the fence undisturbed like the occupants never walked across this earth I talk again, running over the same words with my famous pen the one I carry where it hurts research outside my comfort zone but record in the bedroom because comfort's home I live to be dead too just like everyone else but that's not the goal they put on their trophy shelf or the objective in the resume never want to tell your future employers you're looking forward to a vacation in hell not that I believe in those statements but they're mine and I might as well make them everything I say is fair game for rephrasing or paraphrasing afraid to ever say my name and i shrivel like a raisin in the sun when I'm in front of a crowd I've never met before think they're all talking about my flaws and what better they've seen before this is who i am one word at a time, one line this is who I am one line at a time this is who i am one word at a time give it time, fresh out give it time, right? just let it go
8.
The figures in the fog talk louder and louder but I can't put my finger on what they're all about and so I forget the simple talk, syllables and lincoln logs the building blocks are glued together, just a little more acetone to loosen up until something better falls from the sky, but we're already bruised enough and our minds are toned too tight until they lose the stuff inside at night, we close our eyes and look up, up into the sky, for the fighting spirit orion's belt's mine for the stealing, mine for the feelings felt, feeling held back to the first square, where we first dealt the first fears and taught ourselves how to be the 'pers you see here but I'm the only one others are my double's shadows in the lonely sun, the shallow pools of protoplasm grow, atom by atom And though, I'm turning around, with my back facing the entrance I don't worry about going down when the best of them aren't present so dark outside so dark outside Blue eyes with dark hair, its the new thing I hear replacing walks in the park with superficial artwork doesn't touch the soul, just the irises and hearts of coal So far, so cold I bundle up, hoping it'll go away but knowing nothing ever does I go a way I know I shouldn't but stray from the path I set for myself say that is that but no one ever does the same because of greed and rabbits in the cabbage patch I carve my own lane made up of the fat And slowly die, becoming ever larger than the stash I grow and like, a token hole in my line of sight I stroke the rope, pulling as holds so tight steadfast to the goals hope for the hole in one ever faster it goes coast to the boat you won and hope for that hole in one so dark outside so dark outside
9.
He knocks but doesn't wait for a response And talks on and on as we cross the quad His garments scream sex, or so he says but we don't believe the things we guess until he decrees it's all in the decks leave nothing to chance but it's all hedging bets and pants, wearing them around the ankles handcuffs himself to the desk-bed at weird angles all the property, all the rules must be followed anyone talking about me, swallow the pills before we're followed hollow hearts lit on fire by the opposite part, simple hallo? a halo, pure of intention but bitter by indirect intervention not to mention the letter that lets you lay low and call bullshit on any ocean of legos play the minecraft, eat the eggos take your time with that, I'll wait across the road and find the fastest ticket home while you're fiddling with the keys on a rope specifically paracord and your robe wear the headscarf and bass pro hat hawaiian shirt, nobody else will look like that CHORUS it's all okay there's no need to worry or wait tomorrow will come before we ever forget today so don't worry tomorrow will come before we ever forget today He comes back awake in the morning not sure what day it is disheveled but worn and like a fading suit frayed at the ends warning us and afraid of everything being true the world bends around him taking its time moseying You can guarantee he'll bring a frown to your face as soon as you're close to him but let's take a step back or two pose a question as we binge as he drinks his coffee black and bill sits, looking back nothing fills time better than killing the gaps
10.
I don't have any lyrics for this. It's an improvisation.
11.
Night Watch 03:39
I went for a walk and I got lost There's no way in, no way out I'm not sure when to get up because I don't know where I fell down the hole now is all I'll ever be just scratching at the walls of apathy and never see the sun as it rises greater than I saw set the raw text becomes my next best bet as all the pain piles up and I fall to bed and rile up the crowd I led across the frozen surface only the polar bears know that no one deserves this I cross the street, looking for a sign or landmark but all I can see is land that goes on and the sky in its arc no cars will stop no calls can be made so I throw the phone away and hope for the moonlight but it's a new moon even though there's no new night I ruin all my shoes on bits of broken glass on my way home, but I don't know which way is that? I don't know Which way is that? Which way is that? Am I close? Am I far? Do I know? Who I am? What I are? X2 I hone in on the tallest of towers but I know it could still be hours and hours and I hold the map in my hand knowing it's no good in a city I no longer understand and it's a pity, if I only had lifted a finger or a palm-print I could've waved this all away had I simply known the plan but it's too late I'm falling and As a man I know not the recipe for good intentions lest it be written upon my inventions and destiny intertwines its lines with fate never know the day I know I will fade But I'll wait, because It's all in your best interests But I'm not into this this cinder block, crumble under the weight of my symbols a fickle lock the weight of the world's the way in to the words on the way out I'm flailing my arms drowning in a sea of undetonated bombs hey now, I'm calling out into the waves where no one is going now but at least I feel safe I ruin all my shoes on bits of broken glass on my way home, but I don't know which way is that? I don't know Which way is that? Which way is that? Am I close? Am I far? Do I know? Who I am? What I are? X2
12.
Be Quiet 02:04
13.
14.
Wilt 02:07
The pine needles fall with the snowflakes these days get old we rest in low graves all I can say is though its so late there's nothing left for us but to go away I said that I would call and that we would talk But I never called, we never talked and that is how we cut our losses off with our arms, we criss-cross immune systems build bombs out of used inference and tell until we've used all the views you're the muse, but no idea lasts when it's something new re-aboriginal I wonder didja know this or that I bring you close to bring you bad news you don't need to know but I will stop to tell you sell you trash that stretches forever into infinite collapse its never made much of a difference whether you're into it or digging your grave rhyming about the simple things that have been put in place I think myself away The pine needles fall with the snowflakes these days get old we rest in low graves all I can say is though its so late there's nothing left for us but to go away

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The Beautiful Unknown is the result of 29 days of effort in my first attempt at a challenge known as FAWM, or the February Album Writing Month, in which the task is to write 14 songs within the month of February.

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released March 1, 2012

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Plainspoke Denver, Colorado

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