Around the Bend

by Plainspoke

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1.
I'm out of breath climbing up and down the stairs that I step walking around in circles, talking to pretty girls on the internet the world's spinning, closer to the sun than it was before it finished I think I'm done, but torn at forgiveness and giving it my best I'm born of a different thread, made of less material with more to stretch Ethereal—a lightness and delicate rightness a delegate to my ship in the whiteness of ice flows and islands I divide my time between this and that and combine them Discombobulate the populace, the spineless swine that you find when you copy this Everything is only just inside your head, but you stop it with the time that you spend inside the shit, where everyone is dead and diamonds don't exist, all the wonders are things you climb up to get all the good books have been read and writ, the dives serve the best guts and bits I find the earth destroyed by the tiny words of little boys dressed as gentlemen the suits are facades, covering up the stench of them I know my place but I refuse to name it for fear of it becoming no more safe than the name that I take when everything's dissolved into the pavement blue skies are shaming us with our windowless halls and obsession with the famous, drifting through malls spending our change on vending machine staples made in packages of plastic with warning labels I believe the fables, all the gable-roofed houses, with 2.8 children and a dog nothing about them ever set off an alarm, no one shouting for their mom the clouds been off and on, I'm all about them but their gone moving out west, but I still can't move past the rest of my life and into the next set of perpetually bad advice I bite down, cut up my lips, making the right sound, of the way the pain makes everything around you better than this I rip away my chains, and drown too, becoming obsolete a body in a body, two objects, meaning nothing to me I had a hobby, wanting to make a life out of ABC's but there's nothing about me, that's particularly spectacular
2.
I'm too serious, never smile, my lips are cracked from the cold and bitten while I'm pacing to make space for minutes replacing minutes, every day, superimposing limits on limits I say the same things, like welcome to the club, and spend my days tasting a life without love I feign happiness, rather than having it, hope for better things, but never savage it The letter brings good news, but I will never open it for fear of being bad, catastrophe is closing in searing the pan, coated in my dearest man I've chosen this In here I stand, my clothes are dipped in wax, preparations have all been zipped I can quit the act, revolving doors close on the equipment that's normal, tired of the rats, in the corn hole, looking for the ass and born whole, my skin is a patch covering up the birth defects on the inside I'm a circuit that doesn't connect out here you can assemble me in k-nex in there you can find me and put in a support request I can fix myself, I'm qualified to do my best But when I mix the gels, sometimes I feel like it's less The kitchen's 12 feet from the bed It's 2am, I'm awake, and looking to be fed But I am safe, alone in my cage, twiddling my thumbs even though they're not full-gauge turn the page in the sketch-pad working on a new regret and digging my debt in deeper, like the hole in my dentin I fear sleepers are all around us, pod-people not a sound is made, perhaps god is evil and we're all his slaves the sod feels much like a grave, soft and odd equal I talk in my dreams of electric sheep Seams are riveted, or so it seems we're legitimate, just no one believes in this innocence no one can see that we're different creatures of machines with intellect tired of this divide we go back to the future with the doctor who's on our side yo, he'll school you with double hockey sticks and compromises, nothing 'bout politics and common sizes of college dicks I close my eyelids, hoping to daydream but inside is my lid, reaffirming I am a machine it leaves me crying, tears of silver gleam I am a machine, made of metal I am a man, made of flesh and I know no level
3.
If you wait too long, everything smells like shit And the bars of our cages dissolve but still exist We turn the pages of our books, look at the blank text Took our time getting here, fear of putting back regrets No greener grass on the other side of the fence I'm a fiend of cash, in the sense of the things I resent Connect me to that, I have no defense The meat is bad but I will eat it since no great effort was ever achieved with equivalence I always say that never-said is better than insignificant But my flaw reveals itself, and the road it never quits even after I peter out on top of the clouds on the ground lies the means to an end that doesn't exist in my frown in it lies the key to the smile I insist can wait awhile before it's unveiled to the public But by the time I'm out, I'm day old bread, nothing to fuck with Talk of the town is somebody's dead, but I'm off the hook Out of my mind and trapped in bed, nobody took a second look In my head, thoughts are swirling I was the man with all the answers, now my cause is turning into Faust and cancer of the heart, corporeal's something to stand for, even if you can't feel the hand pulling you apart I've got my blinders on while they run with this But I am gone, beneath the underground is a tunnel 'sys Funnels in the sewage and water, not just shit but other fluids Concrete guards up against the shards of human flesh moving through it, I block my chest, knowing my blood's turning a darker hue as I ingest that which is true and I reject the world you say is black and blue But I come back up for air every once in a while and find myself again, a human being living life by the sundial that you and me are no more foreigners than other people also born on planet earth We burn just the same in sunshine and acid rain Try to find a better name But I can't compare to the one that's mine It's only fair to give full disclosure I'm out there and in here's just a folder
4.
5.
I wish I had them written...
6.
I lay in bed trying to describe the way I said it Lying through my teeth, but I don't regret it It's time to see the world for what it be But I'm just a baby, stumbling over my a-b-c's And maybe, someday I'll be able to reach that high shelf, when I can really speak for myself, until then I'll find help working out my mind, disabling my blinders opening up to some new kind of rhyme words Able enough to stand on one foot and hobble my way up to having done good I would if I could but I don't make compromises I just take all of it and weigh the different sizes Fall a bit, find my way disguises the walls as quit So I climb over the eyelids, finding patterns in the blind bliss While I dive in, the time slips, and days and weeks become waiting patiently for a fading vacancy I aim to please but end up hating these I measure myself up to others pull it down, pull it down I need this to keep growing keep growing up pull it down, pull it down I need this to keep growing keep growing up growing up on a bench, sitting on a corner step into traffic and give up my life for lent nothing out of order I'm not catholic or christian, jewish or buddhist islam ain't my business, but all religion, I boot it tuning my soul to the right frequency, I can fail and win back on the train again, after I fell off the road that came and went I was thorow for a bit then raymond with his shaving kit taking all the music, looking for that fabled kiss and losing pace with all the kids that label this as gay, but it doesn't phase me 'cause every dozen tracks, I come up with one that's sort of okay it gets the plays, lately and for that, I keep going, moving forward and back hoping that this rhyme I write won't be my last I measure myself up to others pull it down, pull it down I need this to keep growing keep growing up pull it down, pull it down I need this to keep growing keep growing up growing up
7.
I learned my lesson but I didn't teach it now i'm digressing living my life in secret a thousand messages to people i've never been seen with only vestiges of lives i've dreamed to lead bits i right my wrongs with double negatives and move along, dragging my feet across the line that's been redrawn and I pace myself in every song as long as the strings of fate hold me in this simple place or pull me to a different state I can wait but I'll be the last to leave last to clear my plate of all the fallen splintered leaves I stake my claim but winter needs more than I have to give I flee to repeat but forget to live you think it's so long five weeks here and then it's gone five weeks here and then it's gone five weeks here and then it's gone don't mind me I'm just wiping my eyes looking for relationships that seem to come in short supply like vacant ships docked at shore for all their life so they can sit and think about what they didn't do right or get whipped like slaves that did what they wanted no matter what their master said day or night, I just don't want it put that mast to bed wind moving west past my head it's land from here on and pouring out my chest not just blood but pure bonds I wish myself the best you think it's so long five weeks here and then it's gone five weeks here and then it's gone five weeks here and then it's gone here and then it's gone
8.
9.
I feign my emotions, I hide them a smile keeps 'em steady for awhile but the coals get compressed into diamonds they're scooped up I cry 'cause I'm moved by the blue stuff that flows and ebbs moving into and out of my chests closing, tighter and tighter must look left, look right or everything is farther the days melt into nights I'm looking like my father, a statue molded to attack you from inside its cage,  locked away, but there's no safety the only escape is in a razor blade, that will always wait for me
our names are echoes of our former selves that never let go, but hold onto the past on every shelf I pass another window, it's closed like the last but this one has a dim glow, a sign behind the glass They need help; I wonder what with though Should I enter, or think about it, a question never too simple The thinning out of symbols No more music, just the clash of cymbals My muse is a true story wrapped in lies Because they sparkle best Just like the eyes Remember me before I forget Why I I sit In a haystack of needles, looking for the silver lining where no one has been to feel but you can't deny me that one thing must be real I just want to find it X2 I knock down the doors looking for the porch sitting looking at people, smile laugh, it's winter snow should be lovely but it's ugly, reflecting inward at the dust that doesn't touch me, the frozen cinders rescinding one me and all of the money it's funny how the ride swings back and forth like a pendulum if you know what that is for my life is ending but not the stack of chores it's periods of dissenting that chose to crack the doors Look for the light just outside the entrance I can't find it, 'cause my eyes is broken no lending, but the lies have been spoken my wounds can't be mended I can't swim or float no more succumb to the feeling of drowning the burning in my throat or the lungs full of sound or sinking thoughts I drink it down but never think of the cost I'm poor wouldn't say I'm lost just stuck at a cross roads I don't know though I'm at a loss so I sit In a haystack of needles, looking for the silver lining where no one has been to feel but you can't deny me that one thing must be real I just want to find it X4

about

Around the Bend is another way of saying that no matter how far you get in the direction of wherever it is you're going, there's always more ahead of you. And once you cross each mountain, or make it around to the other side of the fence, you can either look back with regret, or turn around and face the sunset with pride in just how far you've come.

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released January 29, 2012

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Plainspoke Denver, Colorado

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